Machete Review

I don't think i've ever done a movie review, so why not start now.

THIS IS NSFW!

"He knows the score. He gets the women, And he kills the bad guys!" - Tagline

Machete is a roller coaster comedy (In a grotesque sort of way) action movie injected with 100% pure testosterone. The story follows Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo), Ex- Assassin who is brought back into the game to kill a very racist Senator, Senator John McGloughlin (Robert De-Niro) who plans to deport all Mexican immigrants in the state of Texas but first force them to build an Electric fence going all along the border of the U.S.A and Mexico. When approached at a labor camp by Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey) at a labour camp he has no choice but to say no. However it's a set up, Machete is shot in the leg and framed as the assassin and John McLaughlin gets a lot of propoganda points. The story then takes turn after turn and is revealed to be something far bigger than Machete could have imagined.

The general story I thought was very well written, with gruesome action with a side of comedy coming along for the trip. The violence is simaler to that of Fallout, Except in real life, it even sneaks it in in clever little ways. I never before knew that a Small intestine could be used as a bungee rope but now I do. There is strong nudity in the film, in the opening scene a stark naked woman takes a phone out of...well her... you know... So this movie definitly isn't a movie that you'd take your sainted mother/ girlfriend to see. This movie was originally meant to be a parody of action blockbusters but funnily enough became one.

The film features a well known group of actors: Danny Trejo (Predators, Fallout: New Vegas), Lindsey Lohan (Herbie: Fully Loaded, Mean Girls (And she certainly lives up to her reputation as there is a lesbian make out scene in the film featuring her)) Robert De Niro (Meet the Fockers, Goodfellas), Jessica Alba ( Fantastic Four, Dark Angel), Stephen Seagal, Don Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey and Cheech Marin. So there's a little bit of everyone from every genre.

"In the name of my father"

The music and special effects get two thumbs up from me. Lots of well done explosions, Decapitations, disembowling etc.

This film is a BIG win in my opinion, Lots of explosions, blood, comedy and great one liners, just what I like in my movies. I think it deserves a 8.5/10. It was a great film all around but left a large plot hole. Let's hope there'll be a sequel like they joked about at the end to tie these off.

What I liked :

1. Comedic Violence
2. Original Sound-Track
3. Colourful cast (Bar one, See below)

What I disliked

1. BIG plothole
2. Lindsey Lohan ( Call me a spawn of Doctor Cox from Scrubs but I just don't like her as a person and her roles irritate me in movies(This didn't change my score as that wouldn't be fair just thought i'd say it))

Very handsome man isn't he?

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Gears Of War 3 Beta Begins in.....

Check back here at the Bl4rG for some commentary and video comparisons from Gears Of War 3 multiplayer to Gears Of War 2.

Looking forward till tomorrow, here's me excited! 

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Introducing The Supaboy! (My Childhood is now Portable!)

Do you ever get those day's when someone invents your childhood into a hand-held device? Well fortunately for me, the folks at Hyperkin have successfully created a portable Super Nintendo Entertainment System that still uses those beautiful cartridges! 

What I love about this device is that its in the shape of SNES's controller so there is already familiarity with the device. But what is truly amazing about the Supaboy is that you can connect it to your television and connect two controllers up to the device for you and a mate to enjoy some retro gaming. 

It doesn't come with the controllers, and is slated for a summer release date (hopefully). The price should be roughly around the $60 - $70 dollar mark. Sadly the device only uses North American cartridges which is vital when your going on Ebay to re-buy some of the classics. 

Have to admit this is an amazing hand-held, while people are going nuts over the newly released 3DS I am already scheduling to buy this device when it is released. Cant wait to get back into the ole' Street Fighter 2 and Mario! 

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New Twisted Metal Trailer is HERE!

Twisted Metal, The chaotic car combat game was announced to be remade at E3 2010. An American friend of mine sent me the E3 video link and I was blown away. Car Combat with pure testosterone injected into it. I got Twisted Metal 1 put on my psp the other day and while it's from 1995 it is certainly a good laugh. So i'm REALLY excited to see the new Twisted Metal out exclusivly for the ps3 on the 4th of October.

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It looks like I've been playing GTA 4 wrong and that the media is right as always...

"SHOW ME YOUR MO-FO AMERICAN KIDS, ELDERLY AND WOMEN ROMAN... I WANT TO GET ME SOME POINTS!!!!"

I'm sure a lot of you heard of the chap from Rio who went into an old school of his and shot up the place killing 13 people and injuring a dozen more. Like with many shooting and terrorist acts, Video games have been blamed. Games like Doom, GTA and more recently Call of Duty, have been training villans with their over use of violence. Just like American media giant FOX said Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 with the level "No Russian" where you kill civilians mercilessly, is training terrorists and was blamed for the suicide bombing in a Russian airport about 4 months ago. I enjoyed this level. Not because of the killing of civilians, which I know is a really touchy subject among people, but the fact that it was different. It made it more real. Soldiers don't run around using BB guns to shoot people, although the media would probably try and pull that off the shelves for being excessively violent.

This is adding Brazils head newspaper, "O Globo", to my list of "Media Giant Gobshites" along with Sky News UK - "THERE'S A CEASEFIRE IN LIBYA" FUKUSHIMA (PRONOUNCED BY NEWS ANCHOR FUCKUSH-I-MA) IS IN MAJOR MELTDOWN)

FOX News for the earlier MW2 scandal.

Apparently, Wellington Menezes de Oliveira, the guy responsible for the shooting was a fan of GTA IV and what did "O Globo" say? They said it's a very violent game that REWARDS you POINTS for killing women and CHILDREN and the elderly. Call me an idiot but in my playthrough of GTA IV, I didn't see a child and never saw points when I killed women. Maybe my game is deffective. Silly old Brazilians... Know before you post...

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The Legend Of Zelda Orcarina of Time gets a release date!?

Yes it's finally got one. It's June 19th in America but they usually release Nintendo titles earlier in Europe by a small bit so possibly the 17th?

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Rest in Peace 2 - Ratchet and Clank

Before you get a bit of a fright, No Ratchet and Clank are fine. I'm talking about R.I.P in a different respect. Also this is going to be a series I do now. The first one was the one I did on Pokémon a few weeks back.

Ratchet and Clank were one of the biggest hits on the Ps2 and along with the fact that they were made by Insomniac games, the original owners of Spyro, really helped them onto the (then) next gen market. Ratchet and Clank 1 was one of the 3 games I got with my ps2 when I got it one Christmas many years ago. Whenever I went into toy shops and saw a ps2, I immediatly ran to check what game is there. If it was Ratchet and Clank i'd run through the demo in an attempt to break a record time I had set. So obviously I was excited when I pulled back the wrapping paper on Christmas morning to have the cheeky grin of the Lombax from Veldin with a little robot on his back.

Go to 2:52 to see one of my favourite moments from gaming.

My best friend too got this and we were both addicted to it and completed it over and over again. Last I checked I had 10 re-plays on it. Ratchet and Clank 1 had a great story, it had a wide variety of colourful characters, it had humour, original brilliant music, wide variety of weapons (Some silly, some serious) so when you can assume I was excited when I recieved a Ratchet and Clank 2 demo in the post. Yet again I replayed the same level over and over, being overwhelmed by the new controls, weapons, planets etc. It wasn't long before I snatched it up and played through it. It was even better than the last and was in my top 3 games. There was even more silly humour that still makes me chuckle to this day, more crazy weapons, more worlds and monsters than you could shake a monkey at. First person mode was one of the big highlights for me. I broke various stats that the came couldn't hold like having so much money it just appeared as random symbols on the save screen.

The next year I got the sequel... Ratchet and Clank 3. This was even more exciting as I was forced to wait a month until I got it at Christmas and it was around this time I found out about the gaming community lurking on the internet. I created my E-mail account, Signed up to insomniacs news letter and used google to find any and all clips relating to Ratchet and Clank 3. More features, more new Guns and most exciting to me... Multiplayer. Me and my best friend spent countless hours on the multiplayer. Bombing each other in ships, crushing each other in futuristic half tracks. But in the campaign... something was missing. The campaign was much shorter than the others, more boring too and was so repetitive that Déja vu extreme would be putting it mildly, Weapons had decreased by a fair number. I was slightly dissapointed that this was done to one of my favourite series.

The following year came Ratchet Gladiator. This was when I began to think about the series ending .The graphics became a bit too cartoony. The original charm was gone. The 50+ weapons and gadgets from R&C2 had been decreased down to a miserable 10... The story became shorter. I once clocked 4 hours 30 minutes from completing it. That's shorter than most Call of Duties today... The game just didn't seem that fun any more. In fact it just seemed like a disc filled with flashy explosions. While they did replace the old multiplayer with a better version it just wasnt the game I loved 3 years previously.

Only one bit I liked and that was the ending, no that isn't that the ending me happy it was this one cutscene :

Finally, December 31st, 2009. I got my ps3. I got a few games for a lend off of a neighbour like Metal Gear 4, Prototype and a few more. The next day I went into Dublin City Centre went to my favourite game shop. Picked up my own copy of MGS4 and Ratchet and Clank 6, A crack in time. Why did I buy it after being so dissapointed with my last encounter. Blu-Ray. I honestly thought that on a Blu-Ray disc it really would've turned around. I was wrong. Better Graphics yes but it became worse in terms of weapons and Campaign 11 weapons in Ratchet 4, from what I could see... there was 9 on Ratchet 6...on a Blu Ray disc. I looked up how far away from the end I was 4 hours in. Turns out I was about 3 levels away. So I pressed the little Ps button in the middle of my controller, Slid over to the CD icon, pressed Triangle and hit eject disc. On January the second, the day after I bought it, My Ratchet and Clank 6 was traded in and coverted into Call of Duty World at War and Little Big Planet 1 with enough change to buy myself a Slushee. Silly Gamestop didn't know what they got in for...

This was an amazing title and very much like Pokémon, Insomniac threw this crap on top of us without even having the decency of calling it shit.

So Rest in Peace Ratchet and Clank... Rest in Peace

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AMAZING!!New Footage of Street Fighter X Tekken!

A lot of media was released for the upcoming Street Fighter X Tekken, and with a lot of content to look through its no doubt that this game will be one of this years biggest hypes. 

So for those of you who are just recognising yourself with this game now, you should be aware that this is the most awesome thing since sliced bread! Everyone knows the big three of the fighter genre is Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat and Tekken and thinking about a crossover for any two of these series would be absolute madness back in their hay day. 

But yet again here we are with two rival video game series becoming one full game, finally there wont be any more bickering of which is the better of the two crossovers. This time it will be done on the battlefield! 

Check out the awesome gameplay and characters! 

This interview explains how they are going to integrate both of the fighting series into one game! 

I am defiantly going to pick this up, considering I really liked Marvel vs Capcom 3 and really want to get my teeth into a new crossover! 

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Gears Of War 3 Beta Starts Next Week! New Footage! UPDATE....

A game I am furiously anticipating in the coming weeks is the Gears Of War 3 Beta. Gears is pretty much my favourite video game series right now and I just cant get enough of it, the games, the comics and the novels (yes there are books!) is just all amazing. 

So its obvious that next week, the launch of the Gears 3 Beta to Bulletstorm players, will be all that I am playing. Considering that I will have 2 straight weeks off I am going to do nothing but play this beta and try to get all the unlockables for the full game. That would include Thrash Ball Cole, Golden Plancer and all the flaming weapons such as the Lancer above. 

But for those of you who are joining me and are still pondering on whether to join in, check out these video below to show off the raw gameplay of Gears Of War 3 Beta.

Expect video's from myself and possibly some commentary to go along it to talk about some of the new features and what I think about them.

Only a few more days!!!

Update:

So just after I posted this a video arisen with Epic Games explaining why they have a beta and what they expect from it. The video pretty much explains what the developers are hoping to achieve and how they are taken full advantage of the delay implemented to them by Microsoft. The Beta gives them an advantage most games don't get the opportunity to do, unlike Gears Of War 2 the next instalment Gears Of War 3 will have the full advantage to try out the new dedicated servers and to look for glitches so that they don't appear in the full game coming out in September 20 this year. 

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Deadpool Movie Finally Gets A Director! Good News and Bad News!

The long due Deadpool movie finally gets a director and finally lifts itself out of the monstrosity film industry limbo. Tim Miller is the man for the job making this his directional debut and possibly a lift from usual repertoire of his CGI career.

The man has some familiarity with Marvel, working on CGI in both X-Men movie's, and seems to have worked on a fare few comic book movie adoptions such as Scott Pilgirm vs the World  and Daredevil. The screenplay is written by Rhett Reese whose most notable work is Zombieland. And the movie will departure from X-Men Origins: Wolverine, thank god for that piece of news.

That's the good news.

The bad news is that Ryan Reynolds who's a fan favourite to play Wade Wilson/Deadpool is looking unlikely. Even though he shows interest in the project and that "his dream come true" would be a full adaptation of the Deadpool comic, Ryan Reynolds is just really busy. Everyone (males included) all want Ryan Reynolds to take his top off, and because of this Hollywood want him in everything. The fact that he is a full on pretty boy, makes it a difficulty for him to play Deadpool. Wade Wilson is scarred and mutated and doesn't take his mask off to often, think this will go down well for studio heads? Don't think so.....

But then again, Ryan has much enthusiasm for Deadpool and I wouldn't tear him off yet. I am just pointing out that if it goes ahead that Deadpool is played by Ryan Reynolds, it more than likely wont be the Deadpool we all know and love.

Well we will find out soon when a trailer appears, but until then we will have to wait and see.   

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