Saints Row The Third Review
(The following review is NSFW)
"Saints Row: The Third" is a delightfully humourous yet perfectly violent open world game from the gents over at Volition inc. You are the head of the famous gang known as "The Saints" and their meteoric rise to power in the town of Steelport by doing a variety of wacky missions such as hopping onto a dune buggy, lighting yourself on fire and crashing into other cars. The mission also features a variety of other gang related mini games such as taking out rival gangs each with their own unique units, hiring prostitutes and beating people to death with a variety of weapons such as a 6 foot dildo or ripping them apart with a wind cannon.
Soviet giant Oleg is one of the many very colourful members of the cast in this game
Saints Row: The Third has a long campaign filled with a wacky script, which even features a cameo from actor extraordinaire "Burt Reynolds" (Deliverance, Dukes of Hazard, The Longest Yard) as the mayor of Steelport. This game had me genuinely laughing out loud and not just for the crude parts of it's humour as the game can be downright witty. In this game, you rob a bank...vault by tearing it from the bank using a helicopter, cause it to rain sports card, cocaine, cash and sex dolls over Steelport and smash through a planes front window and fly out the other side unharmed... And that's just the first mission. The variety of games, weapons and vehicles and cheap DLC creates a very long series of post-story gameplay. There's a great variety to these mini-games whether they be insurance fraud, Trying to blow up as much shit as possible or even money laundering the local business's in Steelport. Customization also plays a large part in Saints Row 3 with a variety of hairstyles, clothes and costumes to wear ranging from Formal attire to fancy dress to bondage. Cars, bikes trucks etc. are also customizable to the extent where you can improve a cars speed, breaking ability, health etc. and change it's colours. I personally love my own mini scooter which is set to play only Satisfaction by Benny Bennassi. You obviously can customize your characters body as well making them either very fat, muscly or even a deformed zombie character.
Music and Graphics
Saints Row: The Third boasts an amazingly varied soundtrack. Varying from classic power ballads such as "I Need a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler, to Bach's Cantata to DeadMaus and if like me, you don't care for certain genres or particular songs, you can customize what you want. For me, it's nearly entirely a mixture of punk and rock music from artists like Dracula From Houston, Tim and Eric and Motley Crue. The mixture of music perfectly fits into the mood of the missions, hell it even made Kanyé West tolerable during one of the missions. The graphics are a more cartoony style but not soon cartoony that it would be like Borderlands, It's just the right amount. Regardless, it left me very impressed.
Yup, I wasn't lieing about that 6 foot dildo
In Conclusion:I've heard a lot of people compare this to GTA IV, which is only natural seeing as they are similar games, however I would pick Saints Row over Grand Theft Auto any day. Saints Row I felt was just more entertaining as a whole when compared to GTA. A lot of people critiqued this game saying how it wasn't like GTA. If you want a game like GTA, you should buy GTA. However this game is essentially a piss take of what GTA is. Besides that, I was enjoying every minute of the game and still am to this day. I highly recommend this game to anyone as there's very little to complain about in it despite the occasional glitching through walls but Volition inc have even employed a fail safe to auto re-spawn you in most cases. The only genuine problem that I could find with this game is the repetitiveness of some missions but this is still but a minor fault with an otherwise near-perfect game. I highly recommend this game to anyone which is why i'm giving this games a
Well done to Volition Inc, I'm eagerly awaiting Saints Row 4