Monday, April 18, 2011

Machete Review


I don't think i've ever done a movie review, so why not start now.
THIS IS NSFW!

"He knows the score. He gets the women, And he kills the bad guys!" - Tagline

Machete is a roller coaster comedy (In a grotesque sort of way) action movie injected with 100% pure testosterone. The story follows Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo), Ex- Assassin who is brought back into the game to kill a very racist Senator, Senator John McGloughlin (Robert De-Niro) who plans to deport all Mexican immigrants in the state of Texas but first force them to build an Electric fence going all along the border of the U.S.A and Mexico. When approached at a labor camp by Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey) at a labour camp he has no choice but to say no. However it's a set up, Machete is shot in the leg and framed as the assassin and John McLaughlin gets a lot of propoganda points. The story then takes turn after turn and is revealed to be something far bigger than Machete could have imagined.
The general story I thought was very well written, with gruesome action with a side of comedy coming along for the trip. The violence is simaler to that of Fallout, Except in real life, it even sneaks it in in clever little ways. I never before knew that a Small intestine could be used as a bungee rope but now I do. There is strong nudity in the film, in the opening scene a stark naked woman takes a phone out of...well her... you know... So this movie definitly isn't a movie that you'd take your sainted mother/ girlfriend to see. This movie was originally meant to be a parody of action blockbusters but funnily enough became one.

The film features a well known group of actors: Danny Trejo (Predators, Fallout: New Vegas), Lindsey Lohan (Herbie: Fully Loaded, Mean Girls (And she certainly lives up to her reputation as there is a lesbian make out scene in the film featuring her)) Robert De Niro (Meet the Fockers, Goodfellas), Jessica Alba ( Fantastic Four, Dark Angel), Stephen Seagal, Don Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey and Cheech Marin. So there's a little bit of everyone from every genre.
"In the name of my father"

The music and special effects get two thumbs up from me. Lots of well done explosions, Decapitations, disembowling etc.

This film is a BIG win in my opinion, Lots of explosions, blood, comedy and great one liners, just what I like in my movies. I think it deserves a 8.5/10. It was a great film all around but left a large plot hole. Let's hope there'll be a sequel like they joked about at the end to tie these off.


What I liked :
  1. Comedic Violence
  2. Original Sound-Track
  3. Colourful cast (Bar one, See below)
What I disliked
  1. BIG plothole
  2. Lindsey Lohan ( Call me a spawn of Doctor Cox from Scrubs but I just don't like her as a person and her roles irritate me in movies(This didn't change my score as that wouldn't be fair just thought i'd say it))
Very handsome man isn't he?

3 comments:

Zombie said...

It was an eh movie...

The Girl Gamer said...

The movie was ok. Good thing they didn't kill Michelle Rodriguez in this movie. I also didn't like Lindsey Lohan in this movie. I don't even know why they bother to put her in this movie.

- The Girl Gamer

Kelli said...

lindsey lohan was so cute when she had the red hair and everything but now she just needs to disappear.

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